T E X T P E C T A T I O N
As defined by Urban Dictionary: The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.
We've all been there. Hot guy or girl, hot prospect for a date, you finally get the nerve to text over something with cojones, and now you wait. The internal dialogue is usually something along these lines:
Did it go over correctly? Did it sound too pushy? Am I a creep for sending that message? Oh, wait, maybe they are showing it to their friends and they are laughing at me. Great, now I really blew it! What an idiot I am! What was I thinking?! I was trying to play it so cool and I had to go and--
--wait--new text message...
Sweet, I knew they would be into it! I am WIN. Today I claim victory and sit upon my mount as a champion. I fucking rock.
Feel the burn.
I don't know where the hell Rick found this, but I think you can best classify reflectoporn as Internet Gold. Even the name -- reflectoporn -- it just sounds like something that can only exist because of the web. You never know what you might come across on eBay or Craigslist, do you? See if you can spot the porn -- more pics after the jump. Note: you can't really see anything, but if suggestive photos are not your bag, don't click through.
This time our word of the week is "email bail", the act of abandoning plans, a date, or even an entire relationship over email. When you really want to ditch someone, cutting down on actual face-to-face interaction time is key. Is it cowardly? Perhaps, but if you love burning your bridges, this is totally the way to go.
The email bail goes beyond relationships too. Need to bail out on plans with your friends? Try an email bail. You can find a collection of excuses to use at The Mother of All Excuses Place. Note: EPIC FU is not responsible for any emotional losses incurred by your email bails.
image from jowlers.com
Shake it up! The word of the week is "jowlers": photos of people jowling, also known as a flap n' snap. The act of jowling involves relaxing all the muscles in your face, quickly (almost violently) shaking your head left and right, then snapping a photo to catch that one perfect shot of your jowls in disarray... perhaps even with some spittle, for bonus points.